How to Deal With Job Rejection: What 76 No’s Taught Me

76 times, someone told me no.

Not 76 cold applications to random companies. 76 rejections for the kind of role I really wanted, while I was already working at the company. Some came with kind feedback. Some came with silence. And every single one hurt a little.

Today I’m in that role. So when people ask me how to deal with job rejection, I don’t have a perfect formula. But I do have a lot of practice 😅 In this post I share what helped me keep going, what I’d do differently, and how to turn a no into something useful.

Why job rejection hurts so much

A job rejection doesn’t just feel like “this role is not for you”. It often feels like “you are not good enough”. Especially when you’ve prepared, imagined yourself in the role, and maybe told a few people about it.

It also hits harder when you’re trying to change something big: your country, your career, your level. You’re already outside your comfort zone, and a no feels like proof that you should go back.

It isn’t. A rejection is a decision about one role, at one moment, made by a few people with a few pieces of information. It’s not a verdict on you as a person.

What 76 no’s taught me

1. Rejection is information, not a final judgement

After a while I stopped asking “why don’t they want me?” and started asking “what can I learn from this?” Sometimes the answer was a skill I didn’t have yet. Sometimes it was how I told my story. Sometimes it was simply timing, and there was nothing to fix.

Whenever I could, I asked for feedback. Not every answer was useful, but some of them were gold, and they changed how I prepared for the next one.

2. Keep a small reminder of how far you’ve come

For me, it was an empty ketchup cup. In my first months in the Netherlands I couldn’t even afford the ketchup at McDonald’s. I kept that cup for two years. On hard days, it reminded me that I had already started from zero once, and I had made it this far.

Find your own reminder. An old payslip, a photo, a message from someone who believed in you. Something that shows you the distance you’ve already covered.

3. Separate the role from your worth

This one took me the longest. When you want something very much, every no feels personal. What helped me was keeping my identity bigger than my job search. I still danced, travelled, spent time with friends and family, and did things I was good at. That way, a rejection hit one part of my life, not all of it.

4. Work on the gaps, one at a time

If the feedback pointed to a gap, I worked on it. Not ten things at once. One skill, one story, one weak spot. Then I applied again with something real to show.

5. Keep showing up

This is the least exciting lesson, and the most important one. The yes came after the 76th no, not before. If I had stopped at 20, or 50, I would never have known.

How to deal with job rejection: practical steps

Here’s what I’d suggest when a rejection lands.

Give yourself a day

It’s okay to be sad, angry or disappointed. Don’t pretend it doesn’t hurt. Take an evening off, talk to someone you trust, and then move on to the next step.

Ask for feedback, kindly

A short, polite message asking what you could improve is enough. Many people won’t reply, and that’s fine. The ones who do will often help more than you expect.

Write down what you learned

After each process, write two or three lines: what went well, what didn’t, what you’d do differently. After a few rejections, you’ll start to see patterns.

Talk to people, not just portals

Many of my best opportunities came through people: a conversation, an introduction, a referral. If you’re only applying online, add a few real conversations to your week.

Keep a “proof” list

Write down your wins, big and small: compliments from colleagues, projects you finished, skills you learned. Read it when your confidence drops.

What I’d tell myself back then

You’re not behind. You’re on your own timeline. The no’s are part of the path, not a sign that you’re on the wrong one. And one day you’ll get to romanticise your life a little, because you’ll know exactly what it took to get there.

How to reply to a rejection email

Most people don’t reply to a rejection at all. That’s exactly why a short, kind reply stands out. It keeps the door open, and recruiters often remember the people who handled a no well. Keep it simple: thank them for their time, say you enjoyed learning about the team, ask if they can share any feedback, and let them know you’d love to be considered for future roles.

Send it within a day or two, while the conversation is still fresh. Don’t argue with the decision or ask them to change it. And if you had a good connection with someone in the process, it’s fine to connect with them on LinkedIn too. Some of the best opportunities come later, from people who already know you. I shared more about this in how I used LinkedIn to find a job in the Netherlands.

Common reasons you might be getting rejected

If the no’s keep coming and nobody tells you why, it helps to look at where in the process you’re stopping. Each stage points to something different:

• No reply to applications: your CV may not match the job clearly enough. Use the words from the job post, put your most relevant experience at the top, and show results with numbers where you can.
• Rejected after the first call: your story may need work. Practise a short, clear answer to “tell me about yourself” and why you want this role.
• Rejected after interviews: prepare real examples for common questions, and think about how you show the skills they asked for, not just say you have them.
• Always close, never chosen: often it’s competition or timing. Keep going, and keep in touch with the people you met.

And if you’re changing careers, some rejections simply mean you need one more bridge step first. That’s not failure, it’s part of the route. I wrote about that in changing careers at 30.

Frequently asked questions

How do you stay motivated after many job rejections?

Keep your life bigger than your job search, ask for feedback where you can, work on one gap at a time, and keep a reminder of how far you’ve already come.

Should I ask for feedback after a job rejection?

Yes, if you can. A short, polite message is enough. Not everyone will answer, but the feedback you do get can make your next application much stronger.

Is it normal to get rejected many times?

Very. Especially when you’re changing careers, moving countries or aiming higher. I was rejected 76 times for the kind of role I wanted before I got it.

When should I stop applying for a role I keep getting rejected for?

Look at the feedback and the patterns. If you’re getting closer each time, keep going. If the same gap keeps coming up, work on that first, or look for a bridge role that helps you build it.

Should I reply to a job rejection email?

Yes, a short and polite reply is a good idea. Thank them, ask for feedback if you’d like it, and say you’re open to future roles. It leaves a good impression and keeps the door open.

Can I apply again to a company that rejected me?

Usually, yes. A no for one role at one moment doesn’t close the company forever. Apply again when you’ve worked on the feedback or when a better-fitting role opens, and mention what you’ve learned since.

What’s the hardest rejection you’ve had, and what did it teach you? Tell me in the comments 👇