Why I Stopped Drinking Alcohol (and What I Order at Parties Instead)

A few years ago, if you had told me I would go to parties, work dinners and holidays without drinking alcohol, I wouldn’t have believed you.

I used to drink a lot. More than was good for me. Over time I could see it wasn’t doing anything good for my health or for my life at home. And one day I simply realised: this is not good for me, and I want a better version of my life.

So I stopped. Today I don’t drink alcohol at all, and honestly, life feels clearer and happier.

I’m not sharing my whole story here, and I’m not a doctor. But people often ask me: what do you drink at parties, and how do people react? So here’s my honest answer, plus tips if you’re thinking about drinking less or stopping too.

Why I stopped drinking alcohol

The short version: I wanted to feel better, in my body and in my life.

When you drink a lot, it slowly takes over things. Your energy, your mornings, your mood, your relationships. I didn’t like where it was going, and I knew I was the only one who could change it.

Stopping wasn’t about a rule or a trend. It was a decision for my health, my marriage and my future. And it’s one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

Health experts are also clear about alcohol. The World Health Organization says that no level of alcohol consumption is safe for our health. You don’t need to have a “problem” to benefit from drinking less.

What changed after I stopped

I don’t want to make big promises, because everyone is different. But for me, life became calmer.

Better mornings. No more wasted weekends feeling tired.
More energy. For work, travel, dancing and my side projects.
A happier home. More good, present time with my husband.
More money. Drinks add up quickly, especially in the Netherlands.
I remember everything. Every party, every trip, every conversation.

What I drink at parties instead

This is the question I get the most. My answer is simple: I still have a drink in my hand, just not alcohol.

Cola Zero. My go-to at parties and work events.
Soda or sparkling water. With lime or lemon, it looks and feels like a “proper” drink.
Non-alcoholic drinks. Alcohol-free beers, wines and mocktails are easy to find in the Netherlands now, in supermarkets, bars and restaurants.
Tea. At dinners, in winter, or on holiday in the mountains, a cup of tea is my comfort drink.
Good food. I focus on the food. A great meal makes a night out just as fun.

My tip: decide what you’ll order before you arrive. When the waiter or a colleague asks, you answer straight away, and nobody thinks twice.

How people react when you don’t drink

I was worried about this at first. Will people think I’m boring? Will I have to explain myself every time?

The truth: people are mostly fine with it. In fact, many people think it’s a good thing. Some are curious, some say they want to drink less too, and most don’t even notice what’s in your glass.

When someone asks, I keep it simple:

“I don’t drink, but I’ll have a Cola Zero.”
“I stopped, and I feel so much better.”
“No thanks, I’m good with tea.”

You don’t owe anyone a long explanation. A short, happy answer works best.

Going to work events without drinking

Work events, team dinners and Friday drinks (vrijdagmiddagborrel, as the Dutch call it) can feel like the hardest place not to drink. But they don’t have to be.

Arrive with a plan. Know your drink before you get there.
Hold a glass. People stop offering when you already have something.
Focus on people. Use the time to actually talk to colleagues.
Leave when you want. You can head home early, fresh and clear for the next day.

I’ve found that people remember how you made them feel, not what you were drinking.

Travelling without alcohol

Holidays used to mean drinks for me. Now they mean something different. Morning walks, local food, and a cup of tea with a mountain view.

On trips like Lake Como or Switzerland, I wake up fresh and actually enjoy the day. Being alcohol-free makes travel feel bigger, not smaller.

Tips if you want to drink less or stop

Be honest with yourself. Notice how alcohol makes you feel the next day and over time.
Choose your reason. Health, family, money, energy. A clear “why” keeps you going.
Find your swap. Pick two or three drinks you enjoy that aren’t alcohol.
Tell one person you trust. Support makes a big difference.
Fill your time. Dance, walk, travel, learn something new. My after-work dance workout helps me a lot.
Ask for help if you need it. If you find it hard to cut down, talk to your doctor (in the Netherlands, your huisarts). There is no shame in getting support.

What a normal night out looks like for me now

People sometimes imagine that not drinking means sitting in a corner with a glass of water. It’s really not like that.

A typical evening for me now: I arrive, order my Cola Zero or a soda with lime, and spend the time talking, eating and laughing. If there’s music, I dance, and I enjoy it more because I’m fully present.

At dinners, I focus on the food and finish with a tea. And when the night ends, I go home feeling completely fine.

The next morning is the best part. I wake up fresh, remember every conversation, and have the whole day ahead of me. That feeling never gets old.

If you’re thinking about drinking less, try one alcohol-free event and notice how the next morning feels. That small experiment says more than any article.

Frequently asked questions

What does sober curious mean?

Sober curious means questioning your drinking habits and trying life with less or no alcohol, without necessarily calling yourself sober. It’s about choosing how you want to feel.

What can I drink at a party instead of alcohol?

Cola Zero, soda with lime, alcohol-free beer or wine, mocktails, or tea. Pick something you enjoy so you don’t feel left out.

How do I say no to alcohol without feeling awkward?

Keep it short and positive: “I don’t drink, but I’d love a soda.” Most people will just move on.

Is it normal to not drink in the Netherlands?

Yes. Alcohol-free drinks are everywhere in Dutch supermarkets, bars and offices, and more people are choosing to drink less.

Have you ever thought about drinking less? Tell me in the comments 👇